A common behavioural pattern I see in clients who struggle to lose weight, to manage their health or emotions is a People Pleaser. I am also quick to detect the behavioural pattern as this is a pattern I have worked hard to bust in my own life, and to be honest continue to bust with help thanks to my mentor and friends.
You can always count on a People Pleaser for a favour, they spend a great deal of time doing things for other people, they get all their work done, help others with their work, make all the plans and are always there for family members and friends.
While this sounds like such as amazing behaviour trait, it can become an extremely unhealthy pattern of behaviour for some people if they are lacking boundaries. For some People Pleasers all their time then revolves around taking care of other people, and they let their own self-care fall to the wayside, forgoing their own needs to help maintain their commitments for others.
Some consequences that can result for People Pleasers are neglecting their self, passive aggression or resentment to others, reduced enjoyment in their own life, high levels of stress and depression and can even lead to some People Pleasers to be taken advantage of.
In my early twenties I realised my behavioural trait of People Pleasing had become extremely unhealthy for me, as I had created a situation where I was unclear what I wanted out of life (and my relationships) as I had devoted my life to keeping everyone else happy. While this was a terrifying realisation at the time, it provided the most incredible journey of self-discovery and led me to own this very business today by helping others within a healthier space and with healthy boundaries.
If you need help identifying this pattern, it can help to ask yourself the question “is this activity/relationship/situation in my highest good?”
And remember if you are like I was, and finding this a significant issue in your life, reach out to someone who can help pull you out of it
Do you have traits of People Pleasing in your life?
Are you meeting your needs in life or the needs of others with your activities and actions?